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Acceptance of truth

Realizations shock me with the truth
I see myself struggling with one side
Trying hard to be like everyone else
Using the resources I had

Bringing passed years into the light
Memories flash quickly through my head
Concentration and efforts always there
Progression slow but always sure

Many efforts I have overlooked
Busy trying to be someone else
Didn’t take time to reflect on my life
I see, now, how quickly time goes

Clouds have lifted
And my past is transparent and clear
Speed doesn’t matter when results appear
Gradually, it all becomes one

As realization shines a new light
Acceptance of truth sets me free

What you need to do is, you ned to accept what’s there, what’s left and most importantly what is yours. YOU NEED TO ACCEPT THE TRUTH BECAUSE ONE DAY IT WILL COME OUT. Nothing lasts forever and this is the reason you have to accept the reality and truth.

-Alfia🥀

Chennai Tour 2k18

Before i start the blog no one will ask me how was your trip cause i’m answering here that it was the best trip of my life. The best 5 days of my entire life♥️

It was a school trip from 29th october to 2nd november. All of my friends and most of my classmates went there. We enjoyed like hell, seriously it was amazing. The marina beach 🏖 the museums, science park, snake park, palaces and malls, our hotel, beautiful temples and yes most importantly ISRO ( the reason why we went chennai 😂).

The marina beach was awesome, the waves, climate, atmosphere and everything was amazing. The whole 10-c clicked a group picture together. It is one of the most cherished memory i will have. While we were enjoying at the beach a green snake 🐍 came out of the water and i got scared like hell because earlier that day we went to snake park and i was horrified by snakes there. The wind was blowing and our hair were blowing too and then suddenly our very interesting and irritating friend started throwing mud at us and trust me we enjoyed that too. The journey from beach to hotel was in bus and we ruined the whole bus with wet sand😂We went to snake 🐍 park, science park and museums too but our main motive and focus was to click pictures and make memories. I was scared at the snake park, hot bored in the museum and made slow motion videos at the science park😂 We went to some palace and VR mall too and did shopping there and ate food only.

I would like to mention a few people who made me eat more and more ice cream which made my voice sounds like hell. I got tonsils and my voice bursted. Thank you akshay kalra for serving me three cups of ice cream 🍦. This would not be possible without you😂 and yes i would like to say that i pressed your room’s bell too😂😂

Trust me the Chennai airport and the delhi airport was amazing. We didn’t sat there but ran to the whole airport because our flight was getting delayed over and over again. The people of chennai our so polite and humble. They interacted so sweetly and politely to us that i can’t explain. The way they talk, the way they are is amazing.

We enjoyed the most in our hotel because we made atleast 100 prank calls to the most random people and pressed bells of our schoolmates at late in the night which was the best part because they were doing the same with us too.

We celebrated our teacher’s birthday there too. It was our favourite teacher alpana mam’s 60th birthday and she enjoyed alot with us.

The air hostesses and pilot were amazing too because they were so good looking and polite with us.

Chennai you are being missed. I wish trip would have never ended. All of our fun is being missed and mere gawaaro tumhare bina yeh trip itna amazing nhi hota. Love you all, love you chennai.

-alfyaa

Being in 10th class/grade😭♥️

Heyy everyone! so i’m back with another exciting blog of mine. so this one is special. it’s extremely special because it’s specially for my friends and all the people, teachers, seniors, juniors, classmates and for my school.

Class 10? You mean the year when you suddenly start believing in and worshiping all the 33+ crore gods? The year you start reciting all the mantras you’ve ever been taught since the day you were born? Yeah. No one forgets class 10. Unless you’re like really stupid and/or lived in a cave or something. If you’re lucky enough (Hah. Sarcasm intended) to born in India, you know how just how painful R.D Sharma is. And oh God, the Board exams and all the and cramming and kesar doodh and best of luck messages from your family members and ‘Lakshya’ songs make it an experience that makes you cringe when you think about it, but it’s worth it. Add ‘hormonally unbalanced’ friends and infatuation and whatnot,  and you have 365 days of guaranteed awesomeness. It’s like you’re watching the Harry Potter series on repeat. You know you’re favourite characters are going to die but you still watch it. That is exactly what class 10 is like. You know you’re probably going to die of all the frustration of being treated like an adult but ‘You’re too young for this shit’  but you still enjoy it. yess, you enjoy it because you know you are not going to get these years back. You all will be separated into different schools, streams and different parts of the country.

I’m going to miss and love each one of you and will always do. Forgetting you will never happen. Friends, studies, board exams, love, crushes and high school.

-alfia♥️

16th Birthday 🎊

Hey people💫

You all must be assuming how much happy i am writing this blog today. Cause it’s my 16thhhh♥️

I’ve turned sweet 16 today. It’s the sixteenth year of my life. These 16 years have been wonderful. i’ve got my family and friends who are everything for me. I’ve earned so much blessings, love and care from you all. Thank you so much for making my the sixteenth year of my life an amazing one. Thank you so so so much for everything, for being in my life.

I’ve through hardships and love too. I’ve in the worst and the best too. But i always want you people to stay with me so that everytime i fall you will be there to pick me up.

CHEERS TO THE SIXTEENTH YEAR OF MY LIFE 🎊💫♥️💛

-alfyaaa

REAL FRIENDS 🍂

Hello everyone. Today’s blog is kind of important because nowadays everyone is going through that same thing. FAKE FRIENDS, FRIENDS WHO AREN’T YOURS AND NEVER WERE.

We all have been through challenging situations where we realised who cares and who doesn’t. There’s a beautiful poem that expresses how people in our lives are like a part of a tree. you have the leaves, the branches and the roots. The people that are like leaves on a tree leave. They were only meant to be in our lives for a temporary period of time. Leaves like most friendship are amazing in the beginning but take more than what they are willing to give and offer very little support and help especially through troubled seasons. They were never meant to be permanent because when things get tough they were easily blown away.

People who are like branches are the ones who say ” I’m here for you.” You can depend on me but as soon as things get tough they break off because they cannot carry the weight. These branches are there for sometime, they provide some purpose but they don’t last for very long either. Eventually these branches or so called friends break off and disconnect.

The people who are like roots stay permanent. They stay with your good, with your bad and everything you go through. They are always at your back. They go to hell and back. They break apart, fall apart, only to build again. Only to refuel and reenergise you with what you need.In my life, i have my best friend tisha and my mother who are like roots in my journey of life.

When the leaves are blown away, the branches have broken off, they won’t leave you.

NOT EVERYONE YOU LOSE IS A LOSE. 🥀

When we let go of relationships that were holding us down, relationships that were pulling us down. We allow ourselves to grow and be pulled off. Real friends can’t make our problems disappear but they are definitely not going to disappear when we are going through the problems.

-Alfia

Positivity 💓

I’ve been thinking about this concept a lot recently.  Relentless Positivity.  What is it you ask?  Well, my definition is people who are consistently and wholeheartedly optimistic about all aspects of their lives.  They are unicorns and rainbows 24/7.

I have some problems with this.

Why?  What could be wrong with consistently having a go to attitude?  Isn’t that great?  Isn’t that how we all should be attacking life?

I fully admit that I have been monitoring, and documenting, the things that I am grateful for.  Sometimes they are as small as getting a mango ice on a hot day, or as large as my friend receiving good news from her oncologist.  I am often a little snarky about my list, but that’s just my personality- I tend to live life on the sarcastic side.

But just because I do a gratitude list doesn’t mean I’m eternally positive.

I get angry.  I rant about things.  I am sometimes not the nicest person in the world. I get sad.  I can feel hurt.  I have really crappy days where I just sit and have a good cry or a little tiny pity party. I accept this.  I allow myself to feel the full range of emotions.

Everyone should allow themselves to feel the full range of emotions.

Let me repeat that: everyone should allow themselves to feel the full range of emotions.

I have been told that I shouldn’t let anger get the best of me.  My question is why?  Why can’t I be angry?  Why can’t I be frustrated?  Isn’t it worse to bottle my feelings away, to push them deep inside?  Isn’t it better to get it out, be angry, be sad, be frustrated or whatever, and learn to deal with them?

Isn’t it better to learn how to deal with your emotions, whatever they may be?

See, that’s the trick: learning how to deal with the whole spectrum of emotions without letting one take over and dominate.  No one should be happy all the time.  No one should be angry all the time.  No one should be any one thing all the time.

2018 has been the best year of my life.  And as you know if you’ve been reading me this year, I have had set backs.  I have gotten into arguments and disagreements with people.  I have been full out pissed off.  And I have dealt with all those emotions- written about them, discussed them with friends and relations, thought about them.  I have put them into the perspective they deserve.  I have had some crap, yet it has still been the best year of my life.

Why has it been the best year?  Because I like myself more this year than last.  Just like 2017 was better than 2016.  And how 2019 will be better than this year.

I learn from my experiences, both the good and the bad.  This makes me stronger.  I have  taken advantage of the opportunities that life puts in front of me- because you never know what’s going to happen.  I have made new friends.  I have been sparked creatively.  I have been having a great time.

Life is good. But that doesn’t mean I’m all sunshine and rainbows.

Sometimes my blog exudes positivity- sometimes my happiness just shines through,  And sometimes my blog is negative, because, well, that’s just life.  Somedays it is just hard to find the gold.  And that’s OK.

Find the balance: be grateful for the good things, and learn how to handle the bad.  And don’t ever think something is wrong with you because you’re not always relentlessly positive.

I HOPE YOU SLL LIKED MY BLOG. PLEASE LET ME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS SECTION BELOW.

SPREAD LOVE 💕

-alfia

It’s not easy to let go😶

Hey everyone.so, here i am with another blog of mine. This blog is a little heart touching and breaking because it’s about letting go of people which is the hardest thing to do. So let’s begin.

Letting go. People make it sound so incredibly simple but it may be one of the hardest things to do. Just let it go and all will be right in the world. But when you have depression and anxiety and any other mental health disorder, it is probably the toughest thing to do. Well, at least in my case, I have the most difficult time letting go of pretty much everything. This past year has been very interesting for me and I’ve held on to a lot that I should have probably let go. I held on to people who were not being positive influences in my life no matter how much I wanted them to. I kept trying pretend that I haven’t gained a lot of weight and I can still squeeze myself in those pants that literally hurt me. I pretend that I can just get away with eating whatever I feel like it. I pretend that I’m living the best life I can be, because I am not. I have been on this journey to make an active change in my life so I am healthier and happier. So I have to let go of a lot.

I think one of  the reasons I have such a hard time letting go is because I want to believe things will just change. People will change, work will get easier, and I will just magically lose weight. Well I know that last one wouldn’t. But it doesn’t. I can not change how people interact with me. This past year, I have tried so hard to get the people in my life to stay. I so desperately wanted to be liked by so many people. I tried so hard to keep these people in my life. But here’s the truth. I can’t change people. But I can change. I have to put myself first and realize I can’t bend over backwards for people who don’t want to be there for me. It is incredibly difficult but I need to let them go and hope that people will come into my life who are good for me and want to be here. This is has been by far the most difficult part of my transition because it means I’m going to be alone for a bit, which absolutely terrifies me. I know that when I without human interaction for a while, I go to a bad place, and I’m more likely to try to get those people back in my life. So I have to keep very alert that I don’t let these people back into my life.

I have to let go of this incessant need to know what is next. Ever since I decided to change career paths and life paths, I have been absolutely terrified of what is going to come next. I know that I have a year to figure things out but I still don’t know exactly where I will be next year and what I’ll be doing. It’s a scary thing but I can’t keep worrying about it. I know that the future is scary but I can’t stop it. I have to believe that everything will work out in the end, even if I don’t know what that will be or when. I need to let go and just live. All of this stress has been stopping me from living and just enjoying what I am right now.

If I truly want to Letting go. People make it sound so incredibly simple but it may be one of the hardest things to do. Just let it go and all will be right in the world. But when you have depression and anxiety and any other mental health disorder, it is probably the toughest thing to do. Well, at least in my case, I have the most difficult time letting go of pretty much everything. This past year has been very interesting for me and I’ve held on to a lot that I should have probably let go. I held on to people who were not being positive influences in my life no matter how much I wanted them to. I kept trying pretend that I haven’t gained a lot of weight and I can still squeeze myself in those pants that literally hurt me. I pretend that I can just get away with eating whatever I feel like it. I pretend that I’m living the best life I can be, because I am not. I have been on this journey to make an active change in my life so I am healthier and happier. So I have to let go of a lot.

make a change in my life to be Letting go. People make it sound so incredibly simple but it may be one of the hardest things to do. Just let it go and all will be right in the world. But when you have depression and anxiety and any other mental health disorder, it is probably the toughest thing to do. Well, at least in my case, I have the most difficult time letting go of pretty much everything. This past year has been very interesting for me and I’ve held on to a lot that I should have probably let go. I held on to people who were not being positive influences in my life no matter how much I wanted them to. I kept trying pretend that I haven’t gained a lot of weight and I can still squeeze myself in those pants that literally hurt me. I pretend that I can just get away with eating whatever I feel like it. I pretend that I’m living the best life I can be, because I am not. I have been on this journey to make an active change in my life so I am healthier and happier. So I have to let go of a lot.

I think one of  the reasons I have such a hard time letting go is because I want to believe things will just change. People will change, work will get easier, and I will just magically lose weight. Well I know that last one wouldn’t. But it doesn’t. I can not change how people interact with me. This past year, I have tried so hard to get the people in my life to stay. I so desperately wanted to be liked by so many people. I tried so hard to keep these people in my life. But here’s the truth. I can’t change people. But I can change. I have to put myself first and realize I can’t bend over backwards for people who don’t want to be there for me. It is incredibly difficult but I need to let them go and hope that people will come into my life who are good for me and want to be here. This is has been by far the most difficult part of my transition because it means I’m going to be alone for a bit, which absolutely terrifies me. I know that when I without human interaction for a while, I go to a bad place, and I’m more likely to try to get those people back in my life. So I have to keep very alert that I don’t let these people back into my life.

I have to let go of this incessant need to know what is next. Ever since I decided to change career paths and life paths, I have been absolutely terrified of what is going to come next. I know that I have a year to figure things out but I still don’t know exactly where I will be next year and what I’ll be doing. It’s a scary thing but I can’t keep worrying about it. I can’t keep bringing this into my life. I know that the future is scary but I can’t stop it. I have to believe that everything will work out in the end, even if I don’t know what that will be or when. I need to let go and just live. All of this stress has been stopping me from living and just enjoying what I am right now.

If I truly want to make a change in my life to be happier, I have to let go of everything that is keeping me in the past. I can’t expect anyone to change but myself. And if someone is keeping me down, it’s time for me to let them go instead of trying to bring them up with me. I have to let go of most of my worries about my future and what comes next. I spent my entire life knowing what came next and then, it didn’t come. Now, I know life is unpredictable no matter how much you plan and prepare. You think you know how your life is going to be but you will never really know. I can’t let that hold me back anymore. It’s time for me to let go.

Hope you liked it, thanks for reading.

alfyaaa