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If only

The saddest words in the English language. If only.

If only I’d known what I know now, if only I had done this or that, if only…

Regret comes in all shapes and sizes. And time passes and heals wounds, and, in the end, regret is the only thing that ties us to our past. Or to a better version of it.

That’s the thing about being human. You don’t only dream of a better future, but you also work really hard to imagine a better past. A different past. One that would provide all kinds of alternate outcomes and new meanings to who and where you are right now.

We change. The world changes around us. The people in our lives change as well. Nothing really stays the same, and that’s why we regret.

As a reminder that we used to be different. That our lives used to be different. And we play with this new version of who we are and we pretend that our present self could travel back in time and correct our mistakes.

“If only…”

And we call this regret.

And it hurts.

It hurts alot.

The awful truth about life is that it goes on. Whether you want it to or not; it just goes on.

But regret keeps us trapped in the past, trapped in this bizarre world that never even existed in the first place. A world of illusions, of impossible dreams, a world that’s never coming back.

In a way, if we beat ourselves up with problems from the past for long enough we end up missing a version of the past that only exists inside our head.

Life is a learning lesson, repeat what is good, don’t repeat the waste. Life is all about moving forward and letting go of the past.Life is about learning, growing and letting go.

And, in the end, the future is much more interesting. We never know what might happen, and that makes it infinitely more fascinating than what already happened.

~alfia♥️

You only live once✨

Hey everyone, so today I’m gonna write about ya well you already know cause you read the title which says YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.

If we look into it and thinking about it, it’s like a poem, a poem which you are writing and it has to end one day. You are the writer of your own poem. You write what you want and sometimes you write what you want others to read.

We all say, like literally we all say that we only live once and we should make the most out of it. But are we really doing so? Are we?

We want to buy something from a very long time but we don’t because we are saving it for something else, we want to go on a vacation but we are so busy that we can’t find time to do so, we want to pursue something which we want in life something in which we are interested in but we don’t because our parents don’t want us to, because they have other plans for you, we want to do something so bad but we don’t do it.

This is where you and I think ‘you only live once’.

Go buy that one thing what you’ve always wanted, go anywhere any beach or mountain you want to go for a vacation, do what you love in your life, do what you have interest in.

GO OUT, LIVE AND LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST.

Do crazy things with crazy people, enjoy every moment of life, live like you’ve never been alive before, feel everything, do what your hearts wants you to do because after all ‘YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE’.❤️🌈

~alfiya🌻

Life goes on💫

Hey! Long time, no see.

Lifeee!!!

It goes on! No matter if you are ready for it or not. Sometimes you may feel to shut down inside the comfort of your room. But growth happens when you break your comfort zone and reach out. Sometimes you may not feel to reach out even though you know evidently that it’s high time you have to.

What can be done to break the ice!?

Only you can make your move. The first attempt should happen at your end. Life is too short to think too much. Go for it.

You fail in one exam or test or you didn’t score well, you feel bad and when it keeps on happening again and again it kind of breaks you. When someone you care about leaves you, it makes you sad and unhappy. There are times in life when you want to give up, leave everything, you feel a lot of things at the same time. There is sadness, annoyance, depressed and so not.

But you know what? After everything, after all this LIFE GOES ON.

Everything is going to pass, everything will be alright after sometime, you’ll feel okay because it’s going to be okay. Everything in life pass with the passage of time.

~alfia♥️

When everything is falling apart around you🍂

Heylo people, welcome back to another blog of mine. so i’ve been thinking that what is that i should i write about. What is something that everyone goes through and then this topic snapped into my mind.
There are days and seasons when you feel that your whole world is falling apart, crumbling all around you.
Yes, you’re thankful but that’s why it’s so frustrating.Even though you know EVERYTHING that could possibly go wrong isn’t going wrongthere are times when you feel you’re getting your ‘unfair’ share.
Your relationships..
Your family…
Your health…
Your friends..
Your career…
Your life…
May all seem to just unravel at once and not long after youwake up with new hope for each new day… a new challenge slaps you right in theface as soon as you get off your knees from praying.
No one else understands. Everyone has more advice thanencouragement.
Have you ever been there?
Are you there right now?
Let me give you one encouraging reminder…
When everything seems to be falling apart all around you,that means that you’re still standing!
When everything is falling apart around you…YOUR STILL STANDING.

You are still standing, holding it all together. even though it’s tearing you apart, killing you, you are still in hod of it. You are in hold of your life. Your everything✨

~alfia

The choices you make, the decisions you take🦋⚡️

Sometimes it’s really hard to sit back and watch people make the decisions they make, and not want to slap them upside the head. Sometimes I look back at myself from just a few years ago and wonder what the hell I was thinking. Life is so weird in that way where you just go with the flow due to the decisions you make. Just one decision can alter our world, and we have to live with it.

There’s a few people in mind where I wonder if they had chosen differently, would I still be in their life today? Or if they just saw things from my point of view, would they choose differently? I could ponder all day how different life would be if the people in my life had chosen differently, but what I know for sure is, at the end of the day, I don’t have to live with those decisions: they do.

As humans, we are full-on curious about everything, and we question everything as we should. But there are things we cannot control, and one of those things are other people’s decisions. We can try to persuade, and nudge someone in a specific direction, but if it’s not the decision you had hoped them to make, you have to live with it, just like they do, for the rest of your life. We can’t always get what we want, but we live with it, and we move forward.

Personally, I hate to see people leave my life, especially when I strongly feel like our business on this earth isn’t done. If someone does not want to be in my life, then I need to accept that. It was their decision, and that is something THEY will have to live with in their heart, for the rest of their life. Sitting back is hard when you want to slap that person and say, “What are you doing??” But guilt is real, and one day people do realize the mistakes they had made. Unfortunately, it just might take awhile.

“In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take, relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.”

Something I regret is losing a friend, because I kept a bad friend stay in my life. She advised me that this other friend was negative and mean, and just plain unhealthy for me. And she was right, and now both of them are not in my life anymore. I had lost a great friend due to the fact that I decided to keep someone close, whom I shouldn’t have. This is something I regret and will live with forever.

But the last thing I am going to say about this is: if you do realize you’ve made a mistake, then do not let pride hold you back from reaching out and trying to undo what you did. You never know if that person will welcome you back with open arms, or it might take a little barrier to get back to where things were, or it just might be too late as well. You never know, but you won’t know unless you make that decision to try. Because at the end of the day, it’s your life, and you have to live with what you’ve decided. Will you regret it???

 

~alfiya♥️

The person you were and the person you’ve become🌼

heylooo everyone, so it’s been a while since i’ve written a blog. I had my pre boards and now i’m preparing for my boards and will not be writing anything for another month.

we all have been through changes. Changes that are essential for life. Some went through physical changes which of course are visible but few went through and are still going through some mental changes.

You know what they say right?

WE ARE A GENERATION OF BROKEN HEARTS AND BROKEN PEOPLE.

We all have become so different from what we were. i was a completely different person 2 years ago, like completely different. We all were. we didn’t know people right? we didn’t know about what to say in front of anyone or how to react when you are embarrassed or how to respond when someone insults you. But now the answers have changed. we all know how to answer back. How to react on things.

We didn’t know about heartbreaks, we didn’t think when we speak, we didn’t know about fake friends or toxic friends and above all we didn’t know what pressure or stress was.

life was amazing, it still is no doubt but in a different way. It’s just about time. it’s about meeting new people, socialising, evolving, getting over things, finding peace, finding yourself.

Now, most of us atleast know the differences between fake and true friends. heartbreaks and healing, what you were and what you’ve become🌼

“No one can tell what goes on in between
the person you were and the person you become.
No one can chart that blue and lonely section of hell.
There are no maps of the change.
You just come out the other side.
Or you don’t.”

— Stephen King; The Stand


These are some amazing and true lines written by stephen king.

Some of are changing for good and most of us are not able able to recognise themselves. They are changing for bad, becoming a completely different person because if what they’ve been through. what they’ve handled. What life has given them. but it’s just a phrase in which we go through and the most important thing is we have to get over it.

~alfiyaaa 🍂

Living your best life from the inside out💫

Heelloo everyone. so, i’m back with another blog of mine which is LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE FROM INSIDE OUT.

When you think about living your best life what comes to mind? Do you imagine yourself jet-setting to fabulous locations around the world? Do you picture what you would be doing once you finally make the salary you deserve? Do you imagine yourself getting married and building a life with a doting partner? Often, when we think about living our best lives we focus on the external. For many of us, living our best life is about the way we look, where we are traveling, the parties we are going to, our relationships, the jobs we have, how much money we make, etc. While these external things can certainly help us to live our best lives, I’d like to propose that the most impactful way to approach living your best life is from the inside out.

Have you ever found that after the first few months of having a new car or kitchen appliance the excitement wears off? Have you gotten tired of the pattern of partying and recovering? Have you ever noticed that two weeks after returning from your vacation you were longing for the next one? I think if we’re honest with ourselves the positive effects of these external things that make it look like we are living our best lives wears off fairly quickly. We often overlook the fact that we need to live our best lives from the inside out in order to have the lasting joy that many of us are longing for. We may go on a vacation hoping for peace only to find that we’ve brought our harsh and critical mind along with us. We may find ourselves distracted and disengaged when we are doing things we enjoy. We may find that our obligations to other people keep us from living for ourselves. The following are my recommendations for ways to live your best life from the inside out. My hope is that these approaches to living your best life will help every day to feel better and also enhance your enjoyment of the fun, instagram-worthy activities that you engage in.

Practice being present

One thing that can keep us from living our best lives is not being present. There are so many distractions in the world today. Whether it is being on our phones, answering emails, messaging with people who are not with us, feeling badly about the past, or worrying about the future, many of us spend very little of our time in the present moment. Sometimes we use these distractions to escape the present moment because the present is uncomfortable or painful in some way. However, living our lives in the present allows us to experience all of the richness that life has to offer, which includes both joys and sorrows. It’s hard to enjoy spending time with your closest friends if you’re worrying about what you have to do the next day. It’s hard to really take in the beauty of the sunset if you spend the whole time trying to take the perfect picture of it.

Being present takes practice. One way to practice being present in your life is to meditate regularly. Mindfulness meditation is one a type of meditation, which involves the practice of resting your attention in the present moment and continuing to bring your attention back to the present whenever it wanders off. This is a challenge even for people who have been meditating for years! To start meditating I suggest setting aside some time (start with 5 minutes) each day or a few times a week to sit, be still, and pay attention to your breath or something else that your senses perceive in the moment. Using an app (e.g. Headspace or Calm) can help with this. Beyond meditating, I encourage you to practice becoming aware of the times when you are focused on something that is not happening in the present moment and try to bring your attention back to the present every time you notice that. For example, if while talking to a loved one you are criticizing yourself about something, see if you can bring your attention back to what your loved one is saying.

Cultivate joy in your life

While vacations and fun nights out with friends can certainly bring joy, I encourage you to think about small things you can do on a daily or weekly basis that bring you joy. Maybe taking walks outside, or going to your favorite yoga class regularly will bring you joy.  Maybe you find joy in cooking special meals or taking yourself on a great date every once in a while. Or maybe you experience joy when talking to a close friend or reading a great novel. I encourage you to spend some time identifying things that bring joy to your life and make an effort to engage in these things on a regular basis. Engaging in activities that bring you joy on a regular basis will help you to feel like you are living your best life day-to-day and not just when you’re doing something extravagant every few months.

Set boundaries so you can do what you love

One of the things that keeps many of us from living our best lives is the lack of boundaries in our lives. Setting boundaries involves saying no to other people so that we can say yes to ourselves. This can be difficult because when we set boundaries with people who are used to getting what they want from us they may get upset, which can make us feel guilty. Additionally, many of us as Black women have been socialized to put everyone in our lives before ourselves and challenging this norm by putting ourselves first can make us feel uncomfortable.

In order to do what we love we have to make time for it, which usually means prioritizing ourselves over what someone else may want from us. I encourage you to think about an area of your life where you need to set a boundary and determine what it would look like to put that boundary in place. If you give all of your extra money away to friends and family who you know won’t pay you back, consider making a budget and determining how much you can afford to give away and limiting your giving to that amount. If you you give away all of your free time, think about setting aside time each week that is just for you to do what ever will bring you joy. When you set a new boundary the people impacted may throw a tantrum and you will have to withstand their resistance and stand firm with your boundaries despite the feelings of guilt that may arise. Remember that boundaries make our lives and relationships better even if they are hard to stick to at first. Living our best lives involves regularly doing things we love. When we are doing the things we love we are usually better partners, friends, employees/employers, and parents.

What does living your best life look like for you and how can these strategies for living your best life from the inside out help you to live your best life?

-alfia